8 things swore I’d never do before having kids

I’ve been working on this post for awhile and every-time I start working on it, I crack up thinking of my mom. I had a list a mile long of all the things I said I’d never do as a mom and how i’d do it different. She always told me, make sure you write all this down and look back. LOL, boy was I wrong. It’s the same concept if you think you have life completely figured out, God has a funny way of humbling you and throwing you a curve ball. 

I used to be the best parent. I was an expert. I knew all the things.

Before I had children.

Then I had kids and found out I didn’t know anything. I can distinctly remember when Sophie was born, we got home from the hospital and the realness set in. This little human was solely dependent on us, praise the lord for google, youtube, helpful friends and parents. So let’s share my list..

 

1.Formula:

My frugal wanna-be-hippie self looked at the cost of formula, the list of ingredients and swore my baby would never drink formula. Both of my children were born a month early and Sophie was considered a premie and came home with severe jaundice. Going back to work full time, by 9 months I hit my limit with pumping in the car and not sleeping through the night NOT because my baby didn’t but because I was a slave to the pump. I wanted to throw the pump off of a bridge. I finally woke up one day and decided to be done. I had to give her formula for a month after my freezer stash ran out and when I realized it didn’t hurt her, it made me a little more sane being able to sleep through the night. My life was forever changed. So needless to say, Jackson came along and was a formula baby from four months on and has always been my happy healthy little squish.  

2. Fast food:

If you’ve read the blog back before when it was just a food blog or if you know me. You know how passionate I am about healthy cooking and selective about what I eat. I swore I’d never feed my kids fast food but does Chick-fil-A even count? After all it’s real white meat chicken breast, fresh cut waffle fries cooked in peanut oil. There is something magical about this place. You win some, you lose some.

3. Food As A Reward:

Giving food as a reward for good behavior or personal achievements creates an unhealthy association with food and happiness. I planned on sticking to stickers and positive reinforcement. HA. “If you go poo-poo in the potty I’ll give you a skittle.” No shame in this game. It worked. Which brings me to my next..

4. Candy/ Sugar:

I know how addicting sugar is, how bad it is for your teeth and how there is zero nutritional value in any type of candy. With Sophie, I was actually pretty good for the first 18 months, minus her birthday cake. She only ate fruits and nothing else. But once Jackson came along and after last years halloween, we have discovered the best tool to bribe your kids. “If you sit down and take a picture with your brother, i’ll give you a skittle.” (now you know my secret) “If you stop crying in the grocery store and sit in the cart, I’ll give you gummies in the car.” Which leads me to..

5. Opening food at the grocery story:

Have you ever been to the grocery store with two kids under 4? If you shop at Target, Publix, Costco or Trader Joes here in Birmingham close to me.. you’ve probably heard my kids. Usually singing, laughing and talking to everyone they see. BUT, let’s be real.. we have melt downs and boy are they fun. I used to say i’d never be that person who would open up a bag of chips to hush my kids up. I think they ate 3 bananas last week at Trader Joes in our 25 minute trip. I am starting to think moms of toddlers need to go on survivor, they’d win every-time. 

6. Well balanced meals:

I always said “oh my kids will eat their veggies and fruit and carbs will be a treat.” Let me start by saying, my kids are always served a well balanced meal. But what they eat off of their plate.. that’s the other battle. I wish I was embarrassed to say this but there have been many of nights both of them only ate macaroni and cheese, washed it down with a biscuit and I had to call that a well rounded meal. 

7. Tantrums in public:

I used to think to myself before kids, I can’t believe that parent is just letting their kid go HAM all over the grocery store. No one disciplines their kids anymore! Consequences, people! If your kid is screaming and crying in public, you threaten their existence (quietly) or you LEAVE and stop making all these people suffer. But before you cast judgement, let me explain something my small child is like a T-Rex. If I stay quiet and don’t make any sudden movements, he won’t see me and I can get through half my grocery list before heading to the checkout line. I also never realized how sassy I was til I had a mini me. Mom, you’re a saint and I am forever grateful for you. 

8. My kids will never eat in my car:

So shortly after Jackson was born I went to a new company, I had to get out of the company car and buy a new one. After a long search we settled on a brand new car. I promised myself my kids would never eat or drink anything other than water in that car. I since have purchased a small hand held shark vacuum, and keep wet wipes on hand at all times. Infact I’m taking bets on how many goldfish are currently stuck under and in-between the seats that even my trusty shark can’t suction out. SURVIVAL folks.. SURVIVAL.

Being a mom is hands down the best job I have ever been blessed with. But there is no denying the most challenging yet fulfilling at the same time. I hope these shares bring a couple laughs to you mommas out there and for all you mommas to be, just remember it’s all going to be okay! 

What are a some of the things you SWORE you’d never do before becoming a mom?

Thanks for reading along! 

 

Xoxo, 

Lexie 

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